The Piggy Bank in the Bathroom…

We lost my Uncle Bill this past week.  There are a multitude of images and memories that come to mind with Bill….ranging in time period from my childhood until now.  When I was a child, he was the uncle who took me on his knee and hugged me and teased me about the outfit I was wearing or wondering if my older siblings were picking on me.  As an adult, he was the uncle who always gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear that he loved me after a visit where he was giving me a hard time about something or another.  The last time I saw him – he gave me that same hug and kiss and whisper in my ear.  It is a nice memory to think of – but there will always be something else that will make me think of Bill – the piggy bank in the bathroom shaped like a baseball.

The Piggy Bank

My mother and Bill had a great relationship – they were both people who were married to siblings.  Jokes were always told between the two of them and there was always a warm relationship.  Mom always remembered when they were much younger and the four of them went to a bar.  This was an unusual occurrence for all of them.  The barkeep knew Mom from school and therefore her age, but she made the rest of them show her their ID’s.  Despite being the oldest of the group, Bill couldn’t get served a beer.  He had left his wallet at home…he asked the barkeep if pictures of his five sons would help.  Mom always got a kick that she pulled one over on Bill.  Several years before my mother died, Bill and Anne would visit and Bill would ask to use the bathroom…and Mom would tell him to not forget to leave a quarter.  Bill would rifle through his pockets and check to see if he had enough change…and then head to the bathroom.  Sure enough, in the bathroom would be a quarter on the shelf – Bill’s payment.  It was a fun joke between my mother and Bill that extended over to my grandmother’s house as well.  One day Bill and Anne made a special trip to Lewiston to bring a piggy bank for both my grandmother and my mother.  It sits on a shelf in the bathroom and is full a decade’s worth of change….some from my father’s pockets, but mostly from Bill.  Even after Mom died, he still left his quarter. 

Bill was a vibrant individual whose presence was always felt.  He couldn’t sit still and was always remodeling the house, tinkering with some engine, feeding his fish or the stray cats that showed up outside.  Bill was a packrat that collected bits and pieces of a lot of things…I’m sure as his sons clean out his stash of bits and pieces they will wonder where he got all that stuff…and probably wonder why he left it for them to go through.  They are lucky though…they had a father who adored them and their children had grandfather who adored them as well.  Bill had a soft and mushy heart.  When needed, he could spring into action to help when a child was hurt or stand patiently at a campground with his granddaughter’s cat on leash so it could go to the bathroom…no matter how silly he looked.

Anne & Bill on their Wedding Day

Bill hasn’t had an easy life during the past thirty years.  In some ways he was a broken man.  During a house fire, he lost one of his five boys despite his desperate efforts to get to him.  It forever changed him – there was still a twinkle in his eye and a joke, but you always knew that there was sadness behind it.  Bill has had enumerable health troubles through the years, but especially the last few.  The most important thing to Bill was his family especially his wife and sons and later their families.  He was the adored only child of wonderful parents and the beloved son and brother in-law of his wife’s family.  After so many years as part of our family,  “in-law” is no longer an appropriate description.  But Bill was also as his wife called him “a stubborn old goat!”  How else did he survive all of the health scares of the last several years?  He didn’t really like listening to the doctors unless it was absolutely necessary or if his beloved Anne put her foot down.  I suspect that he didn’t want to leave his wife and sons and grandchildren, and held as long as he could.  I would like to believe that Bill is reunited with his lost son, Alan, his parents, and mother-in-law and my mother.  I’m sure Bill gave her a hard time because she left us too soon. 

Anne & Bill - 2008

Dad and I have decided that we are going to take that piggy bank, empty its contents and cash in the change.  We are then going to pick up Anne and go out to dinner and tell a few stories and reminisce about Bill, Mom and other family members that we’ve lost.  Then we are going to take that piggy bank and put it back in the bathroom.  I’m sure people might wonder about a piggy bank in a place of honor in a bathroom…and when they ask, I’ll be sure to tell them about Uncle Bill!

1940 Laurel Twp, Ashe Co., NC - Penningtons (Part 2)

I’m back on my 1940 Pennington search.  If you would like to read my previous article, go to http://genheirlooms.blogspot.com/2012/04/1940-laurel-twp-ashe-co-nc-penningtons.html - I left off with Page 2A of Laurel township.  As I am looking at Page 2B – there aren’t too many familiar names until I get to the bottom of the page where I find Kirby Pennington.

Kirby Smith Pennington is the 3^rd generation down from Levi Pennington and Elizabeth Henson through his father Melvin and Grandfather John Pennington.  He was married to the much younger Lula Victoria Jones.  She was born about 1906 to John C. Jones and Sallie – now, I don’t have her lineage right now, but the Jones family is also quite prevalent in this area. 

On page 3A – we move on to William Osborne who is married to Vertie Pennington, also the daughter of Melvin Pennington.  This is a great entry because it allows me to fill out names and birth years.  Williard is connected with the big three families in Ashe Co., NC – the Pennington by marriage and the Osbornes, Graybeals, and Estridges in his family background.  Even though I don’t see any other Penningtons on the rest of the page, evidently by notes listed on the far left – most of the information came from a neighbor named Mrs. Rash who supplied the census taker with the data.

It isn’t until the bottom third of the page until I find another familiar name.  Tom L. McCoy is the son of William McCoy and Mary Brown…several of his siblings married Pennington relations.  Near the bottom of the page is William Riley Pennington with his wife, Hattie Edmonson.  William is the grandson of Elijah Ephraim Pennington and Mary Osborne and the great grandson of Levi Pennington and Elizabeth Henson.

Page 4A has several familiar names, but no one I can identify exactly.  There is a widowed Maggie Pennington with son, Ethan…this will lead me into the pursuit to discover who they are.  Near the top of Page 4B is Quincy Williams with wife, Rosa – who is the daughter of Isaac Pennington and Martitia Osborne.  Next is another Jones and Oliver family.  This Oliver family is one of the more well known.  Etta Jane Pennington married James Oliver in 1914 and I believe their oldest daughter is still alive at near 97 years old.  Seeing that Ruth Oliver isn’t listed with her family and knowing that she is married to a Greer, I believe that she is at the top of the page with her husband Russell.   Next is an Eastridge family that is probably connected…but I don’t what it is.  Then comes Mack Farmer who I believe according to another researcher, has the original Levi Pennington home place.  Like many others, if they aren’t connected to the Penningtons, then they are to either the Osbornes or Graybeals, in this case Mack is the son of Emeline Graybeal.

So, ends a journey through another four pages of the Laurel township in Ashe Co., NC in 1940.  There is a reason that I spend so much time looking at peripheral families.   Sometimes my work with these families helps to fill in blanks in some of the other lines that I research.  Between funeral records and census records there is still lots of research to be done. 

My Census Woes...

As most of us genealogy obsessives pour over the 1940 census this past week, I am reminded yet again what a fickle piece of documentation that the census can be for any researcher.  First of all, only heads of the households were written down prior to 1850 until finally that year, the names of everyone in the household was recorded.  Don't get me started on the loss of the 1890 census...could there be a more tragic occurrence for genealogists than the loss of that census.  Then the 1900 was cool because it listed the month and year of birth for each household member,  but that must have been too much trouble to do again because it didn't show up again.  So...here I finally have the 1940 census - in a perfect world, I would find my close family exactly where I think they should be....right???

When I first got access to the census, the newest census that had been released was the 1920 census.  With my new account with Ancestry.com, I innocently thought that I would be able to find my ancestors easily.  My mother’s parent’s families were relatively easy to find.  The Friddle family were still on the home place up on Grouse Flats, Wallowa Co., OR.  The expected members were there:

1920 Census – Grouse Precinct, Wallowa Co., OR, Pg. 3B #37

Mom’s Father’s family – the Tannahills were in Caney, Osage Co., OK…and while the names might not have spelled correctly…they were there.

1920 Census – Dist. 81, Caney, Osage Co., OK, Pg. 7B

So, my next step was to look for my father’s family.  His father lived in Dunn Co., ND – surely that would be easy to find.  Small town and county…but despite looking at each page, there was no U. G. Johnson, Shirlie Johnson or Frank Johnson to be found.  My Dad guessed that they were living down on the Missouri breaks and were just not counted.  So, I had my grandmother left….I found Monona Co., IA and there at the top of 6B on Cooper Township was Ora Gage and wife Florence and son, Orlando…but no Helen Marian Gage.  Surely she should be recorded but no…the census was taken in January and not June…so therefore she wasn’t there.

So, now I start looking through the 1940 census.  As before, I had no problem finding the Friddle family in Lewiston and my mother’s parents were at the top of the page.  I easily found my grandmother Marian this time with her new husband, Frank and father-in-law in Dunn Co., ND.  Now…I would look at the area that I was most familiar with – the Hatter Creek precinct in Latah Co., ID.  This would be the only census where I would find my great grandparents and their children in Hatter Creek.  So, I started going page by page through Princeton, ID and through the Gold Hill area.  Then, I came across the Bear Creek area and finally Hatter Creek.  As I looked for familiar names…I found Oscar Schweder and his wife, Alice.  Now, I knew that they lived just below my great grandparent’s original homestead…but the Gage name was nowhere to be found.  However, my great uncle’s family was recorded there so I thought that I would look for my other great uncle….and his family wasn’t counted either.  I had two great aunts marry into two neighbor’s family on Hatter Creek…and only one of the four families could be found.  Then I wondered if they were there…perhaps they were somewhere else when the census was taken.  So, I asked the people who would know…the ones who should have shown up in that census.  I was assured that they were there…my great aunt told me that she graduated the very next year from high school from Potlatch…and they were living at that location for several more years.

So, I am reminded yet again that census takers weren’t even close to being perfect.  After all, they had missed my family…I can find so many other people in so many other census’ – why not my family.  Just unlucky, I guess J

"How Great Thou Art"

We were a church going family when I was a child.  My mother was deeply involved with singing, playing the organ, and directing the choir and my brothers were altar boys.  I can still remember handing out the programs each Friday for the “Stations of the Cross!”  Our Easter celebrations were a combination of the Easter bunny and colored eggs and the religious celebration of the “Resurrection.”

Each day of Holy Week had some meaning, but the two days that I always remember were “Good Friday” and “Easter Sunday”, and music was big part of both those days.  We had an Irish priest who would put on a bit of a show during mass.  A special inflection when saying certain words…I can always remember in my mind the way get said the word “Golgotha” during the “Stations of the Cross!”  It seemed that my mother always sang “The Old Rugged Cross” on Good Friday.  Even to this day, when I hear that song I think of “Good Friday” and church services. 

Easter 1977- My father, siblings and myself and "Harvey"

That isn’t to say that the whole weekend was just about church.  We would usually decorate our Easter eggs on Saturday and Mom would make sure that all of our Easter outfits were ready to wear.  Usually, my sister and I would have to have our hair put in curlers so we would look our best on Easter morning.  When we got up on Easter morning, we would all run to the kitchen to see what the Easter bunny had left us.  One year, we even got glimpse of the Easter bunny hopping down the street.  It was actually a neighborhood friend – but she certainly made all of the kids in the neighborhood believers that year.  One year, my mother pointed out to me that there was a trail of eggs leading somewhere and that I should see if I could figure out where it led.  I followed them back to my room and found a huge stuffed rabbit sitting in the corner.  Evidently, I didn’t notice it in my haste to run to the kitchen.  Based on Mom’s suggestion, I named him “Harvey” for the tall bunny in the movie of the same name…even though I hadn’t seen it at the time.  After we opened our Easter baskets, we all headed back to our rooms to get ready for church.  We were told to keep our eyes away from the windows…because we weren’t to spoil the Easter bunny’s surprise with where the eggs were hidden.

We were always at church very early.  Mom had to get everything set up and get her choir ready to sing.  Mom always played the organ as people came into the church.  Easter Sunday was always a bid deal and a large mass…but it was always a joyful occasion.  One of my favorite songs that my mother would usually sing as a solo was “How Great Thou Art!”  To this day, it is one of the songs that I associate the most with my mother and very few people can sing it as well as she did.  It wasn’t just the beautiful voice that she had, it was the passion and depth of feeling that she put into her performance.  Mom didn’t become a Catholic until after I was born.  When she did – she devoted herself whole heartedly. 

My mother singing at church.

After church, we went home and did our Easter egg hunt…and checked to make sure that we had collected all the eggs.  No one wanted to find a rotten egg in the heat of the summer.  Then it was time for Mom to begin the process of Easter dinner.  We always had stained deviled eggs and potato salad and usually ham and several other dishes.  My grandparents would come over and we would enjoy our celebration as a family.

We still like to celebrate Easter together as a family.  We lost my mother several years ago as well as her parents.  Usually my father and I join my brother’s family out of town for a wonderful day together.  There are no Easter egg hunts or stained deviled eggs to go along with dinner now…but sometimes there is still candy.  The best gift of all is being together and enjoying each other’s company.  So, I hope that everyone rejoices in whatever way they see fit and gets the opportunity to enjoy family and friends.  On Easter morning, I’ll wake up and in my head I will hear my mother’s glorious voice celebrating her love for God and faith and singing “How Great Thou Art!” and rejoice that I was so lucky to grow up in a family that celebrated their faith and family togetherness!  I wish everyone a joyous and happy Easter!

1940 Laurel Twp, Ashe Co., NC - Penningtons (Part 1)

I have been tracing the Ephraim Pennington through land records, census records and cemetery records from the early 1800s to the present day.  Today, I got my first chance to take a look at the 1940 census through Laurel Twp in Ashe Co., NC.  Most of those still living in Laurel Twp., Ashe Co., NC can trace their families back to John Pennington and Emeline Kilby Pennington, Elijah Ephraim Pennington and Mary Osborne Pennington especially through their sons Isaac and Elijah.  They are all descended through Levi Pennington and Elizabeth Henson Pennington who was probably the oldest son of Ephraim Pennington b. 1769.  While I don’t have the time to peruse the entire census right now…I thought I would offer some information about those in Laurel Township.  Here are a few highlights.

Page 1A

The family of Ephraim Pennington has lived in the Laurel Township in every census from 1850 until 1930.  If you know where and who to look for, you can locate quite a few in this township.  On the very first page of the township, listed as the third family is that of T. W. Pennington also known as Watt Pennington who was the son of John Pennington and Emeline Kilby.  Just previous to the entry of Watt Pennington is that of J.Q. McCoy with his wife, Emma.  Emma was the daughter of Isaac Pennington whose father was Elijah Ephraim Pennington. 

Watt Pennington's house.

Page 1B

James Oliver is the head of one of the first families listed on the second page.  His wife, Birdie Mae is a daughter of Isaac Pennington and listed within their household is Martitia Osborne Pennington, Isaac’s widow.  Next is Roby Wilson Pennington, the son of Eliajah Amons Pennington and with his household is his mother, Polly Jane Osborne Pennington.  Levi Kelly Pennington is listed with his wife, Emma Lewis Pennington – Levi was the son of John Pennington and Emeline Kilby Pennington.  Rhudy Garfield Pennington is listed with his wife Danford and he is another son of Isaac and Martitia Osborne Pennington.  Then comes Nancy Graybeal Pennington, the widow of Melvin Smith Pennington – son of John Pennington and Emeline Kilby Pennington. After them are the parents of Danford Graybeal Pennington (wife of Rhudy Pennington).

Page 2A

I’m sure the Graybeals and Osborne’s listed at the beginning of this page are somehow connected…but I am not sure of their branch on the family tree, however the next name is recognizable.  Jesse Allen is a son of Tishia Louisa Pennington Allen who was a sister of Isaac and Elijah Amons Pennington – all three were children of Elijah Ephraim Pennington and Mary Osborne.   Clint Pennington is Elijah Clinton Pennington – a son of Isaac Pennington and Martitia Osborne and his third wife, Lillie Jones Pennington and their five children. At the bottom of the page is Freelis S. Owens with his wife, Ollie Pennington Owens, the daughter of Melvin Smith Pennington and Nancy Graybeal and granddaughter of John Pennington and Emeline Kilby.

In the few minutes that I just spent on a few pages of the 1940 census, I was able to fill in several birthdates that had previously been after 1930 as well as added a few children that I didn’t have.  This short exercise shows the promise of census records.  If you have a family group that has stayed in the same region for a long period of time, you can build a family tree using census records and cemetery records.  Those two types of records are extremely valuable in piecing together the threads of families who have lived in Laurel Township, Ashe Co., NC.

The Dollar-Tucker Branch

William Henry Dollar and Jennie Sparks had 9 children, 8 of whom lived to adulthood.  They had five sons and 3 daughters.  The oldest daughter, Mary Jane Dollar was born 14 Feb 1845 in Ashe Co., NC and she died 20 Jul 1876 in Ashe Co., NC a few months after the birth of her youngest son.  Mary Jane married Moses Tucker on 17 Nov 1869.  Within a year, their first son, Worth, was born and then Loretta, Florence and Lillard Tucker soon followed.  The youngest Dillard was born on 6 Mar 1876 and he died three weeks later on 28 Mar 1876.  After the birth of her youngest child, Mary Jane was in poor health after the birth and death of her youngest child.  Mary Jane’s sister, Emeline, came to live with them and help take care of the children while she was sick.  As my great grandmother told the story, Mary Jane died and they buried her and he then married Emeline on the way home, because it wasn’t proper to have an unmarried woman in the house.  It is obvious that this story was wrong, because Moses Tucker married Emeline on 26 Oct 1876 several months after Mary Jane’s death.  However, I imagine that it was a story told my great grandmother’s grandfather who raised her.  I’m not sure that Monroe Dollar was happy that his younger sister married her sister’s widower so quickly after he sister’s death.   There were four small children that needed to be taken care of and I’m sure Moses had to spend most of his time working to support his family. 

Mary Jane Dollar

Emeline Dollar

Moses Tucker

Emeline Dollar was only a year younger than her sister and 30 years old when she married Moses Tucker.  They started having children very quickly and by the time of November 1890, she had had six more children.  A few years later, Moses Tucker and Emeline met Mormon missionaries and were converted and soon left for Utah.  I believe that they left sometime around 1892.  That must have been quite a trek from North Carolina to Utah in the early 1890’s.  I have to wonder if trains were available or if they traveled by wagon.  The trip was probably completed on both modes of transportation.  Moses and Emeline settled in Cleveland, Emery Co., UT.  Emeline’s mother died in 1893 and soon after her father traveled out from North Carolina to join them in Utah.  I’m told that he, too, converted to Mormonism before he died on 31 August, 1895. 

Moses Tucker didn’t live to be all that old of a man – I’m told that he died as the result of a horse who ran over him on 16 December 1905.  By the time that he died, all of his oldest children were married with families of their own.  Only the youngest four were unmarried.  Emeline was in Emery Co., UT in 1920 and Salt Lake City, UT in 1930.  By the time of her death in 1938, she was living in Marley, Lincoln Co., ID.  I assume that she must have moved in with her children and was probably living with her oldest daughter, Ida, when she died.  Emeline lived to be the longest lived of her siblings at 92 years of age.  (Her brother James Madison Dollar lived to be 83 years old.)  With exception of James Madison Dollar and John Wesley Dollar - she had no living siblings after 1908. 

It is interesting to me to note that my great grandmother came out west in 1910 and lived many miles away from her aunt without knowing her location.  I’m sure that their conversion and trek out west was fraught with many hardships.  It is never easy to start a new life in a new place….nor is it easy to be considered outsiders in a place that you might consider home.  I suspect that is the reason why many of those who converted to Mormonism moved to Utah and Idaho – there were a lot of converts who had also made the move.  I understand that a few of the Tucker children went back to Ashe Co., NC to visit family and their ancestral home.  I have to say that a large chunk of the descendants of William Henry Dollar and Jane Sparks are descendants of Moses Tucker through his marriages to the two Dollar sisters.

Descendants of Moses Tucker

Generation No. 1

1.  MOSES² TUCKER  (BENJAMIN¹) was born 14 Feb 1847 in Yadkin Co., NC, and died 16 Dec 1905 in Cleveland, Emery Co., UT.  He married (1) MARY JANE DOLLAR 17 Nov 1869 in Ashe Co., NC, daughter of WILLIAM DOLLAR and JANE SPARKS.  She was born 14 Feb 1845 in Ashe Co., NC, and died 20 Jul 1876 in Ashe Co., NC.  He married (2) EMELINE DOLLAR 26 Oct 1876 in Ashe Co., NC, daughter of WILLIAM DOLLAR and JANE SPARKS.  She was born Mar 1846 in North Fork, Ashe Co., NC, and died 15 Jun 1938 in Marley, Lincoln Co., ID.

     

Children of MOSES TUCKER and MARY DOLLAR are:

               i.   WORTH³ TUCKER, b. 30 Nov 1870, Ashe Co., NC; d. 05 Nov 1927, Livingston, Park Co., MT; m. FLORENCE ABBY PULSIPHER, 22 May 1895, Cleveland, Emery Co., UT; b. 08 Dec 1878, Windsor Castle, Mohave Co., AZ; d. 11 Apr 1951, Cleveland, Emery Co., UT.

              ii.   LORETTA TUCKER, b. 12 Jan 1872, Washington Co., VA; d. 03 Mar 1966, Oakland, Alameda Co., CA; m. MARTIN PETER JOHNSON, 29 Dec 1896, Price, Carbon Co., UT; b. 06 Oct 1871, Levan, Juab Co., UT; d. 06 Mar 1948, Oakland, Alameda Co., CA.

             iii.   FLORENCE TUCKER, b. 29 Sep 1873, Ashe Co., NC; d. 11 Jun 1939; m. NEILS MATHIS JOHNSON, 06 Dec 1899, Cleveland, Emery Co., UT; b. 27 Sep 1875, Spring City, Sanpete Co., UT; d. 17 Sep 1932.

             iv.   LILLARD TUCKER, b. 25 Dec 1874, Ashe Co., NC; d. 08 Feb 1919, Cleveland, Emery Co., UT; m. MARTHA MAPLE ATWOOD, 05 Apr 1905, Salt Lake City, Salt Lake Co., UT; b. 09 Apr 1888, Salem, Salt Lake Co., UT; d. 08 Sep 1972.

              v.   DILLARD TUCKER, b. 06 Mar 1876, Ashe Co., NC; d. 28 Mar 1876, Ashe Co., NC.

     

Children of MOSES TUCKER and EMELINE DOLLAR are:

             vi.   IDA³ TUCKER, b. 07 Jun 1878, Big Branch, Ashe Co., NC; d. 21 Feb 1941, Marley, Lincoln Co., ID; m. LOUIS JACOB JOHNSON, 27 Dec 1897, Price, Carbon Co., UT; b. 06 Oct 1873, Spring City, Sanpete Co., UT; d. 03 Dec 1952.

            vii.   BENJAMIN TUCKER, b. 23 Apr 1881, Ashe Co., NC; d. 26 Oct 1906, Cleveland, Emery Co., UT; m. FLORENCE WARD, 25 Nov 1901, Cleveland, Emery Co., UT; b. 27 Mar 1882, Staffordshire, England; d. 15 Nov 1968, Cleveland, Emery Co., UT.

            viii.   MOSES TUCKER, JR., b. 07 Nov 1883, Ashe Co., NC; d. 19 Jan 1977, Cleveland, Emery Co., UT; m. FLORENCE WARD, 23 Jun 1908, Price, Carbon Co., Utah; b. 27 Mar 1882, Staffordshire, England; d. 15 Nov 1968, Cleveland, Emery Co., UT.

             ix.   WILLIAM TUCKER, b. 19 Jan 1886, Ashe Co., NC; d. 27 Jan 1983, Salt Lake City, Salt Lake Co., UT; m. (1) KATIE SOPHIA RILEY, 19 Nov 1908, Huntington, Emery Co., UT; b. 29 Sep 1890, Huntington, Emery Co., UT; d. 23 Feb 1913, Huntington, Emery Co., UT; m. (2) EFFIE ARVILLA HANSON, 24 Dec 1934, Salt Lake City, Salt Lake Co., UT; b. 13 Oct 1905, Cleveland, Emery Co., UT; d. 24 May 1991, Holladay, Salt Lake Co., UT.

              x.   JENNIE TUCKER, b. 17 Apr 1888, Ashe Co., NC; d. 21 Oct 1966; m. (1) JOSEPH BURGESS MEEKS, 01 Jan 1907, Huntington, Emery Co., UT; b. 17 Mar 1882, Thurber, UT; d. 27 Feb 1932, Huntington, Emery Co., UT; m. (2) HOMER FRANCIS ADAMS, 27 Feb 1925, Price, Carbon Co., UT.

             xi.   ANDREW MASON TUCKER, b. 23 Nov 1890, Ashe Co., NC; d. 22 Jul 1975, Salt Lake City, Salt Lake Co., UT; m. (1) MALINDA JENSEN, 08 Jan 1912, Price, Carbon Co., UT; m. (2) FLORENCE ISABELL GUYMON, 26 Sep 1919, Provo, Utah Co., UT.

 Note:  Pictures are from Richard Tucker - a descendant of Moses Tucker and Emeline Dollar

Pieces of the Heart

My mother's graduation picture from 1959 - Betty Tannahill Johnson!

I have been fortuanate to have a large and loving family as well as an extended family.  There are various aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents that have helped shape me into the person that I am today.  However, when one is blessed as much as I have been – the loss of those family members can be very difficult as well. There is no question that the most significant loss that I have experienced was my mother who probably had more to do with my personality than any other person.  When we lost her to cancer just a little over six years ago, it made me rethink a lot of things.  Every one of these loved ones that I have lost has taken a piece of me with them…but they have left a piece of them with me as well.

I lost my first grandparent when I was eight years old.  I don’t have a lot of memories of spending a lot of time with my Grandpa Frank.  I do have a few precious memories that remain…that of going to the store with him and picking out candy for my siblings and getting my own bag all on my own.  I especially remember him teaching us how to peal an orange and to this day, the smell of oranges and the act of peeling the orange makes me think of him.  I know that my father is in many ways a reflection of his father.  He is a gentle man who is thoughtful and considerate as well as being a hard worker and loving father and husband.  Many of those qualities are reflections of his father.

 

As I got older, I lost two great grandmothers and by the time I was 20 – I had also lost both of my mother’s parents.  Seeing my grandmother in the hospital in a coma made an impact on what I thought of these family members.  It reminded me that I needed to tell them that I loved them often and ask them about who they were and what their lives were like.  My mother also reminded me at the time that when you lose someone you love that if you remember and think about them, then they are never truly gone.  She was experiencing a great loss as both of her parents died in that 18 month time period – but the experience of age had taught her acceptance.

My grandparents - Gwen & Capitola Friddle Shearer

By the time, I was 28 years old; I began a new journey of discovery.  I spent a great deal of time asking questions and listening to my older relatives.  I learned funny stories about marriage and children.  Sometimes these questions presented me with new information and insights into some of the family members that I never had an opportunity to know as an adult.  Through my mother and her uncle – I learned about the remarkable life that my great grandmother (Mom Friddle) and her husband (Pop Friddle) had led, as well as some of the sad aspects of their lives.  My father’s mother gave me the gift of her knowledge and family unstintingly.  Together we pored over pictures and talked about what it was like to grow up in such a large family with such remarkable parents and what it was like for her to raise her own family.

These past few months have been difficult.  We have lost my grandmother as well as several other friends and family members.  I have a few other relatives with serious health problems and the future for them is getting short.  As I have lost each one of these loved ones – family and friends – I still remember what my mother told so long ago.  If you remember them then they are never truly gone.  I remember that as well as believe that when we lose someone we love – they take a piece of our hearts with them…but they also leave a piece of themselves to enhance our own lives and memories of them.  It is a reminder to take the time and remember to tell someone you care about - that you love them and that they are important to you!